Thursday, February 12, 2009

Panic Attack!

Yesterday the winds came. They blew loudly all night long. I just love it when the weather changes abruptly. It brings to the day all kinds of adventure that the gods of electronic gaming can only dream of replicating. REALLY wild adventures . . . like chasing the garbage can lid down the street while dodging speeding school buses and wearing only a long flannel robe and a pair of floppy house shoes, or firing up my computer only to find my internet service is NOT WORKING!!!!!

Hey, I've become a master at dodging school buses, no sweat. But the idea of a day without the internet causes an immediate panic attack. What am I going to do? I've been mainlining instant information on a daily basis for almost 17 years! I can get by without tv, the usb hamster wheel, the considerate toilet seat , but I HAFTA have my internet fix! I immediately assumed the fetal position (and for a sixtysomething mother, grandmother, wife and spiritual friend in training who eschews exercise that is no easy position to assume.)

How did this happen? I can remember life before tv, before cable, before disposable diapers, before aerosol cheese(and what gourmet chef came up with that idea?). But life before the internet, in Greenland? Inconceivable! (name that movie*.)

So, I did the next best thing to calling Jack Bauer. I called my friendly neighborhood internet provider. The problem was quickly resolved (resetting my wireless router thingie, a persistent internet terrorist). Disaster was averted. And I only spent ten minutes huddled in the fetal position. Of course, I had to call the local volunteer fire and rescue service to help me get up off the floor . . .

Are you a net addict, too? Click on the title above to test yourself.

*The Princess Bride