Tuesday, April 7, 2009

The Chronicles of None-ia

This is a chronicle of things that are gone. Me things. How I've changed.

1. My waist.
They say that of all the things you lose, the mind is the one you miss the most. Not me. I miss my waist. I don't know where I misplaced it. I noticed it taking vacations after the birth of our first child. The vacations became longer after the birth of our second child. After our third child's birth, my waist went AOL. It did come back briefly just to say goodbye the summer of 1991. I think Angelina Jolie borrowed it. Hope she remembers to bring it back when she is finished with it.

2. My hair color.
My long, shoulder length dark brown hair has given way to short and grey. My eyebrows are a faint reminder, but they are slowly succumbing too. I think this began shortly after the birth of child number three. Hmmm. Is there a pattern developing here?

3. My height.
The delightful Principessa recently noted she that she now appears to be an inch or two taller than me. I assured her that she is NOT growing, I'm shrinking. Have I turned into the incredible shrinking woman?

4. My eyesight.
At the fortysomething mark, a very rude optometrist informed me that the muscles in my eyes were aging and could no longer focus sharply. How dare he! I was in my prime! And I was turned the wrong way. Yeah, that's why I couldn't read the big numbers. It was his fault.

5. My mental agility.
Lightening repartee was my signature move. Now I have trouble between the noun and verb of my sentences. If I'm lucky, I can remember the object. I find that short naps in the middle of a sentence help, but only if the one with which I am conversing is tired too.

6. My keys.
I just had them a minute ago. . .

funny pictures of cats with captions
see more Lolcats and funny pictures