I want you to take a good look at this picture and tell me what you see. Okay?
It's an emergency trunk release in case you're loading groceries in the back of your car and a snowplow barrels by, knocking you into the trunk and slamming the lid. Snowplows in this part of the country are formidable machines. They scare everthing out of the way.
I had forgotten the trunk had an emergency release until the other day. Guess I don't spend much time hanging out in there, thank goodness. I suppose that handy gadget was invented either by Jack Bauer's crack team of spy tech/terrorism prevention folks, or the kid that had the sad misfortune of attending a drive-in movie with a group of his teenage friends(The Professor being among them). That was back in the day when boys of a certain age would attempt petty larceny by implementing the trojan horse routine at a drive-in movie. (The driver pays, the rest hide out in the trunk until the coast is clear).
As The Professor tells the tale(and he is a very eloquent tale teller), on this occasion all had money for a ticket except this one guy. He rode in the trunk. But one can never be assured that charity courses purely through the veins of teenage boys. His "friends" held the hapless lad hostage in the trunk until after the movie was over. I think surely that would be the kind of traumatizing event that births either great genius or serial killers.
Of course, I may be wrong.
The moral of this story is. . .cheaters never prosper. And don't willingly crawl into a car trunk.
(The preceding was brought to you by The Professor. He is the one with whom I've shared the last thirtysomething years. My husband, friend, and protector. A man of wisdom, patience, and courage. And although he was a big city lawyer in another life, at one time harbored a speck of petty larceny in his teenage heart.
DISCLAIMER: No teenage boys were harmed in the telling of this story. Iron Acres neither condones nor endorses locking people in a car trunk.)